


Don't Push Me Away

by irishblend10



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 02:28:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2715560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irishblend10/pseuds/irishblend10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Characters: Sam x Reader<br/>Author: http://irishblend10sfanfiction.tumblr.com/<br/>Tumblr Link: http://irishblend10sfanfiction.tumblr.com/post/104294456749/dont-push-me-away<br/>Reader Gender: Female<br/>Word Count:2654<br/>Warnings: Mention of suicide (very little), cussing, smut</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Push Me Away

**Author's Note:**

> I am accepting requests. I know this one is kind of long but I hope you like it. As always, constructive criticism is welcome.

You and Sam were both fuming. He was mad at you for intervening and you were mad at him for putting himself in danger. Dean stared at the road ahead trying to ignore the tension building in the car. He sighed and turned on the radio, hoping maybe that the music would help diffuse the bottle rocket about to blow. Sam turned off the radio in an angry huff and turned to face you.  
“What?” you growled lowly staring him dead in the eye, refusing to back down from his dark glare. “For the sake of heaven and hell, what?”  
“What?” came his incredulous reply. ”What?! Goddamnit (y/n), you could have been killed!   
That is what! I had it before you decided to jump in!”  
“You had it?!” your voice rose. “Dude, if either of you had moved even a fraction his fangs would have been in your neck! If I hadn’t ‘jumped in’ Dean and I would be burning your corpse right now!”  
Dean flinched. ”Alright, guys let’s just calm down.”   
“Shut up, Dean” Sam and you both snapped at him. He threw his hands up in surrender.  
“Hands on the wheel,” you added voice softer. You were not mad at Dean; he did not deserve your wrath.  
“I didn’t need your help! I had it.” Sam fussed.  
“Oh heaven forbid, I do something Dean would do. Seriously, if he did it you would be thanking him. Instead, I do it and get the wrath of the demon child!”  
“That’s just it (y/n). You. Are. Not. Dean.” Sam yelled. “You are not as good a hunter as him and not nearly as trained. You’re also a girl, and girls just aren’t as strong.”  
“Excuse me?!! That is fucking bullshit, Sam, and you know it. Just because I do not have a dick and balls between my legs does not mean I am weaker than you are! I’ve taken out twice as many vampires as you at one time and I’m suddenly not qualified to take out one to save your ass?! You know good and damn well I am as good as Dean and you’re just using the gender card to cover up what you’re too scared to admit!”  
“Oh, and what is that?” Sam growled.  
“That you’re in love with me and you’re terrified of losing me”  
“I’m not in love with you (y/n). You hold us back. And if you were as good of a hunter as Dean, maybe your sister would still be alive.” Sam cut back. He turned around and stared out the window. Dean’s jaw dropped.  
His words hit you like daggers and you froze. A part of you knew he was simply saying it to push you away, but another part of you could not help but register how right he was. Dean looked at you in the rearview mirror.   
“That’s not true, (y/n). Do not listen to him. He is just stressed. He’ll come around and apologize soon.”  
“Just drive Dean.” You said, surprised that your voice remained strong. You turned to look out your window, pulling your knees to your chest, and fighting to keep the angry and hurt tears welling up in your eyes at bay. You fought even harder to ignore the urge to bury your dagger into Sam’s shoulder.  
~ ~ ~  
Upon returning to the bunker, Sam seemed to have softened some; however, you were even madder than you had been. Your anger had been brewing in the car.   
“(y/n), I-“Sam began  
“Fuck off” You said brushing past him.You heard Dean say, “You deserve it, man.”   
You slammed and locked the door to your room. You dropped your bags on the floor by your closet and shed your dirt and blood caked clothes. Carefully, you removed the make shift bandage from your arm that was covering the bite you had received during the hunt. You were so grateful to have a room with an en suite. You hopped in the shower to wash the gunk off your body and out of your hair. Vampire hunts were never clean so, it took a little bit to get your body back to a clean state. You stepped out of the shower and decided to allow yourself an indulgence you hardly ever had time for. A soak in the tub. You added some of a bubble bath mixture that guaranteed to remove all stress and tension from your body. You sank in to the tub and that is when you heard the voice calling for you from your bedroom door. You ignored the calls for a good while before sinking lower in the tub. The water flooded your ears and you were no longer able to hear the calls from your door.   
You were not able to hear Sam announce he was coming in or the door to your bedroom crash as he kicked it open. You did not hear anything until Sam ripped you out of the water. You did not realize it was him pulling you out at first, so you drew back and punched him hard in his chest. He went stumbling backwards.  
“(y/n), what the hell? Why were you trying to kill yourself?” he said breathlessly, coming back to you.  
“I wasn’t trying to off myself you moron! I was trying to relax! My nose was above water! Maybe I should though! It is not like you need me, I just hold you back. Being a girl and all. Not to mention the girl who got her sister killed.” Water dripped from your body as you stepped out of the tub and wrapped yourself in a towel before sitting on yourself on the edge. You did not miss Sam’s eyes rake your naked form.  
“(y/n). I, I really am sorry. I should not have said all those things they were not true at all. I was angry. I cannot lose you. I do not like you hunting. I know you can handle yourself, but I cannot handle the idea of losing you. One day you might not be strong enough. One day I might have to face the morning knowing you will not be in the kitchen singing off key and making breakfast. Or fighting with Dean over some stupid music fact, or helping me with research. And if I have to face that day knowing that you died trying to save me, it will make it a million times worse.” Sam babbled and sat beside you on the tub.  
“It’s better me than you.” You said. “You have Dean to live for, you have people to save. The world will go on without me Sam, but it won’t without you.”  
“I won’t go on without you.”  
“Yes you will.” You answered looking down. ”Besides you were right, at least about part of what you said. I am the reason my sister is dead. If I had been there a little quicker, if I had been a little stronger maybe she would still be alive. Why do you think I train so hard? I should be the one dead not her. Tonight, it was like a replay. I could not let someone else I lo--, care about die. Not if I could prevent it.”  
“(Y/n). I was not right with any of it. I was terribly wrong and what I said was a huge dick move. You were right though. I do love you and I am trying to push you away. Only because I can’t stand to watch you die like the others.”  
“Stop pushing me away, Sam, please. I will not die like the others. They did not have the same background; they did not know what they were walking into. I do, I can handle whatever the world throws at me… at us. As long as you are with me, but if you walk out of this room tonight and do not act on how we both feel, I will die. I cannot live in a world knowing that the only thing keeping us apart is fear. I may not be physically dead, but I will not be me anymore. I will be a shell. You bring life to me Sam, just please. I don’t know how to say it... just… please” The last part came out as a broken whisper.  
He kissed you. It was so full of love and everything that he had kept hidden from you seemed to flood into the kiss. The two of you fell back into the tub, sloshing water everywhere. You broke apart erupting into giggles as your towel half floated in the water. You kissed him again pouring all the love and affection he had given you back into him. It felt magical and when the kiss turned into something more heated, you broke away again.  
“You know, I think, you are going to have to apologize a little more before I forgive you.” You said.   
“Oh?” he replied lifting an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, and I don’t think you need clothes in the bathtub.” You began pushing off the layers of clothes he had, peppering his neck with kisses the whole time. Why did he always wear so many clothes? Finally, you got to his undershirt and slid it over his head. You flung it into the corner with the others and went to kiss down his chest, staying just above the water line. Your fingers went to his pants to undo his belt.  
“(Y/n)… Are you sure?” he asked catching your wrist.  
You gave him a look in reply and pulled your wrist away to continue undoing his belt and pants. He lifted enough for you to pull off his pants and boxers; thank god, he was not wearing shoes. Your hand clasped around his cock and you began slowly stroking him getting him even harder than he already was.   
“The waters getting cool. Should we move to the bed?” he ground out. You giggled at the strain in his voice and nodded.  
He quickly stood and scooped you up bridal style and carried you the short way to your bed. Your towel lay forgotten in the water and the two of you were drenching the floor as you walked. That was the least of your worries; it could be cleaned up later. He threw you on the bed gently, keeping his hand behind your hand as he jumped on with you. He removed his hand from the back of your head after he found a pillow to slide under you head. Your hand went low on him to stroke his cock as he started kissing you again. He grabbed your hands and pinned them above your head with one of his.   
“This is about you. I’m earning my forgiveness, remember?” He said  
“You really are a demon child. You realize how torturous it is not to be able to touch you?” you panted.  
He chuckled and kissed down your jawline. You let out a sound between that of a yelp and a moan when he bit down on the sweet spot of your neck.   
“I like that sound.” He said trailing his free hand up and down your side lightly tickling you. “I wonder how much more I can get you to make it. Do not move your hands.” He removed his hand from your wrists and moved it down to your breasts. Sam gently massaged your breasts; pinching and pulling at your nipples, causing you arch slightly and moan. His other hand dipped lower slowly and lightly stroked your slit. You bucked into him silently begging him to do more. He started to kiss down your body stopping at your breasts to suck and nibble at your nipples as his fingers flicked at your clit. He continued to go lower with his mouth, leaving one hand to play with your nipples. His finger suddenly sunk into your heat as his tongue began an assault on your clit. You moaned and bucked into him. You could feel him smirk in to you as he worked harder. He alternated between breasts and using his tongue and his fingers on your clit. You were a moaning mess. The warmth pooling in your core was becoming a coil that was winding tighter and tighter. He looked up at you sensing you were close. Your eyes were shut tight in pleasure. His hand left your breasts and went up to the back of your head, winding tight in your hair. He lifted your head up.   
“Look at me,” he commanded gently, “and remember don’t move your hands.”   
You moaned and kept your eyes locked on his. He stared you down as he went back to fucking you with his tongue and fingers. He brought you to the brink of ecstasy and stopped. You had fought so hard to keep your eyes locked on his, and when he stopped, you shut them in frustration. You tried bucking up to his mouth or fingers, but to no avail.  
“Don’t shut your eyes.” He growled. Your eyes snapped open and relocked with his.   
He started up again and just before you tipped over the edge stopped again. He did this a few more times ignoring your begging. And, oh, did you beg. You begged him to fuck you, just touch you, or give you any sort of release. He just went back to edging you again. Soon you were keening, and you gave up on keeping your hands in place. You latched your hands in his hair and held him to you, bucking up into his face. His hand left your hair and your heat to pull your hands from his hair. He pinned them above your head again and moved back up your body. You stared in to his eyes. Both your eyes were consumed with lust.  
“Please, Sam.” You whimpered. His free arm went around your waist and pulled you up into him. His cock sank into you hitting the spot you so desperately needed him to. You threw your head back moaning his name. You were unable to form any words as he thrust in and out of you constantly hitting your spot; it was all garbled nonsense. For some reason, you kept yourself from cumming, difficult as it was. Maybe you needed his permission.   
“Beg me.” He growled low into your ear.   
Finding words was hard. You wanted to say something sexy that would make him go crazy with desire, but all that came out was a broken mantra of “Sam…..god… damn.. Sammmmm…. P-Please”  
He grunted out some sort of chuckle and said “Good girl baby. Cum for me.” He hit your spot one last time and you screamed out his name, you vision going white. No doubt Dean heard it wherever he was in the bunker. Sam buried his face in your neck and came a split second after you, your muscles tightening around him driving him to orgasm. You both rode out your orgasms.  
You felt dizzy and sated coming down from the most mind-blowing sex you’d ever had. Sam panted into your neck. The sheen of sweat covering your bodies mixed. You stayed like that for a while before Sam pulled out of you and pulled you to his side. You clutched to him tightly, resting your head on his chest. You giggles lazily.  
“What?” he asked, voice rough and oh so sexy.  
“The door was open the whole time.”   
“And?”  
“Dean’s room is past mine and I think I see light coming from his door.” Your words came out slowly because your brain was still working on cloud nine and saw no need to rush to make you speak.  
“Oops.” Sam chuckled. “You can use my room until we fix the door.”  
“Just until the doors fixed?” you yawned.  
“As long as you want.” He answered.  
“Forever.” You got out before unconsciousness overtook your tired body.


End file.
